Monday, May 18, 2015

Presidents who Jumped the Shark

It is a poorly kept secret that politicians have egos, often in proportion to their rank. So it should come as no surprise to us commoners that Presidents, Supreme Leaders or other variously titled Head Honchos are endowed with egos which even Kryptonote cannot defeat. Yet some stand above the mere eggregious puffery and flackery of your run of the mill world potentate.  Some just make you swallow your breakfast down the wrong pipe as you gasp in denial. Here are my nominees for Presidential Shark Jumpers.
Number 3
Vladmir Putin, President For Life,  The Russian Federation. Vlad is man's man. Rides bareback and shirtless on unbridled wild stallions. Wrestles full grown Siberian tigers. Seduces Olympic gymnastic nubiles. Flies fighter jets. Brings the world to the brink of thermonuclear holocaust. All before lunch. Yet, sometimes he goes a little over the top. As part of the festivities celebrating the 70th anniversary of the Red Army defeating the Nazis, a hockey exhibition game was played in Sochi. Most of the players were former NHL from countries of the old Soviet Union. Also suiting up were Vlad and the Russian Defense Minister, Sergey Shoygu. The team lead by Vlad and Sergey won the contest 18 to 6. Vlad lead all scorers with eight goals. Known more for his prowess with nubiles and tigers, still a respectable outing for the 62 year old. Vlad has only taken up the sport in recent years, so I assume bigger scores will be forthcoming. Truley inspirational.
Number 2
Kim Jung un, Dear Leader, Democratic Peoples Repubic of Korea (deceased).  As befitting the Beloved Leader of the secrertive and isolated DPRK, little is known about Kim. We do know he was 5'2", with four inch heels. He his only known human weakness was for the Sweedish Olympic vollyball team. He had raised his physical perfection to such a level that he had no need to defecate. But it was on the links where he truley towered above us mere mortals. Dear Leader, the very first time he visted DPRK's only golf course, and the first time he had ever handled a golf club, shot a 34. Thirty-eight under par. Eleven holes-in-one. He never played again as he found the game just too easy. Well done Kim!
Number 1
Barrack Hussein Obama, President, United States of America. Barrack swept into the Presidency litterally, some claimed, from nowhere. Many were taken by surprise by his ascendency, including Hillary Clinton. He was inaugurated January 20, 2009. Yet in the 11 days between his swearing-in as President and the February 1st closing date, he was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. The Nobel Committee unanimously awarded him the prize, citing hs inspirational oratory. In his acceptance speech, Barrack dd note that it was slightly awkward for the Comander-in-Chief of a nation currently engaged in two wars of choice to accept the Peace Prize. Citing no achievements for world peace, he gave an inspring speech and scarfed the prize. He has subsequently interspersed his bold oratory for peace with a policy of messy drone assassinations.  Man of Peace. Hope and change. Ignore the haters.

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